Don’t you just love how the bonds of friendship can keep us connected to friends we haven’t seen in decades? But what about those new friends we might be meeting for the first time? How can we strengthen those bonds and deepen our friendships, especially when adult friendships can feel like such a challenge?
In today’s Shining Like Stars Series post, my blogging friend, Joy A. Williams shares a recent encounter that speaks to the bonds of friendship. She happily discovered a secret ingredient that strengthens those bonds right from the start.
Reading Joy’s article left me feeling inspired and hopeful about adult friendships and I pray it does the same for you too!
3 Gems That Make A Friendship Shine
By Joy A. Williams
When it comes to making new friends, it feels like my middle initial “A” stands for adventuresome.
Therefore, I was intrigued by the prospect of a road trip with a woman I’d only spoken to once by phone.
Iris and I were fellow attendees at a Christian communicators conference four hours away. We met through a Facebook group and agreed to drive to the conference together.
I figured by the time we reached our destination, we would either dread our travel arrangement or become grateful for a newly formed friendship.
Thankfully, grace came along too.
Our first step was to meet-up to begin our journey. I was late. Iris was patient. Her response reminded me it takes many gems to cause a friendship to shine. Our road trip unpacked a few.
Gem #1: Grace is freely given by a heart that knows it’s been forgiven.
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32 NLT
Although our connection was just beginning, taking responsibility for a fault (insert my apology for being late) was important. Apologies bandage fresh wounds instead of allowing them to fester.
Iris’s willingness to extend forgiveness so quickly cleared the way for a tension-free conversation. The more we talked, we discovered our life experiences overlapped in all kinds of ways.
Our sons are the same age. We enjoy the same kind of music and we were vacationing at the same beach within a week of each other. The more we had in common, the more we felt at ease with one another.
Gem #2: Grace goes beyond fun and helps our friendships to function.
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11 NLT
Interactions filled with awkward moments or manipulative appeals rarely grow into mutually beneficial bonds. Ideally, there’s a growing level of comfort in a friendship connection. The more Iris and I shared the details of our lives, the more we began to share encouragement (and several laughs).
As we swapped life lessons, I saw a friendship begin to bloom.
Gem #3: Grace plants the seed of friendship in our hearts, but it takes wisdom to water it.
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.” – James 3:17 NLT
When it comes to friendship, sincerity is always a good place to start. I treasure Iris’s willingness to trust me with the contents of her heart. The sensitive details we shared on our ride to the conference stayed in the car.
Tweet ThisEach friendship is different, but each person deserves respect which develops an atmosphere of trust. I desire to steward each connection with wisdom.
And yet, the beauty of a friendship bond is seen in how far it travels in God’s grace. Its shine is unmistakable.
How about you?
How do you forge the bonds of friendship? How have you seen grace play a role?
Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below.
Meet Joy
Joy A. Williams is an author, blogger, and speaker. She has served as a small-group Bible study leader, Women’s Conference and Retreat speaker for over twenty years. She is the author of Friendship MAPS: A Journey through Maturity, Aspirations, Perspectives, and Struggles.
She shares “hope for the heart and joy to the soul” on her blog at joyawilliams.com.
You can also connect with Joy on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest. For a free PDF of “5 Treasures for Your Friendship MAPS” go here.
This post is part of the Shining Like Stars series. Read all of them here.
Love the images in this post?
Get beautiful images for FREE at Pixistock. I’m a proud affiliate and may receive a commission (at no extra cost to you), if you purchase a Pixistock plan. But just so you know, their FREE photos are totally awesome — no purchase necessary. You’re welcome.
Totally agree with your viewpoint, Friends are the most precious thing that one can earn
Love it. I’m opening myself up to new friendships more and more. And I’m loving some of the bonds I am forming as a result but grace and wisdom are definitely needed.
Hi Brittany! Many blessings (and much wisdom) to you and your new friendships!
You’ve reminded me to go water a friendship. We keep saying we’ll “do lunch” but then don’t schedule anything. I just sent her an email to see if a day next week is good. She’s one of my faithful Jesus friends and I want to nurture this friendship for sure! Thanks!
I’m so glad this inspired you to reach out to your friend, Lisa. It’s easy to stay in our corner doing our own thing, but you’re right, friendships need watering. Love that!
Hi Lisa! I’m glad you’re nudged to “do lunch” with your friend. When you connect, I pray that your fellowship runs deep!
I agree that grace is an important part in any type of relationship. I recently experienced hurt through a relationship, but the simple extension of an olive branch softened my heart. I needed grace and I needed to give grace. My prayer is that she can extend that grace to all of the other people she hurt as well.
Hi Wendy! I find one of the most powerful functions in a friendship is intercessory prayer. As you pray for your friend and the friendship, be encouraged. I’ve been where you are before and I’ve experienced God bring me to a place of peace and bring the friendship to a place of growth or closure.
I absolutely agree that grace is a big part of a healthy friendship. I was thinking of honesty as I was reading because with a true friend, you can share the honest raw emotions that you may be experiencing and when they extend grace filled responses it allows even more growth of that friendship. I feel that I also try to be the one to extend grace. As you said when we’ve been shown grace, we realize just how important it is to freely give it to others.
I agree with that too, April. I appreciate friends who can be honest with me and say the hard things in a loving way.
Thanks for chiming in!
Hi April! I agree. Honesty is a must between friends. I treasure the friendships where the environment is so thick with grace, honesty can flow freely!
Joy, thank you for this road map for a grace filled friendship. You’re reminding me of the blessings I continually receive from the good friends God has gifted to me in this following life.
Our friends really are precious gifts. Goodness knows sometimes I don’t know how they stick with me. 🙂
You’re welcome Michele! I’ve experienced the “road map for a grace filled friendship” so deeply, I wrote a book about it! The title is Friendship MAPS: A Journey through Maturity, Aspirations, Perspectives and Struggles. You can find out more here: https://joyawilliams.com/friendship-maps/.
Many more blessings to you in your friendships!