My steps quickened as I left the apartment. I tried to walk as fast as I could hoping that no one would see the tears. They were falling faster now. Soon I was sobbing uncontrollably. But on the busy streets of New York, it didn’t matter too much.
I had come face to face with an uncomfortable truth. Three, in fact.
- It was my sins that put Jesus on the cross.
- He didn’t have to, but still He chose to die for me.
- If there was no one else who ever sinned, He still would die for me.
I listened as my friends shared scripture after scripture. I must have nodded politely and said all the right answers. I’m pretty sure I pretended to know these things for myself already. But I didn’t.
I had spent my life up until that point knowing that God loved me. I had a strong Christian upbringing and many times I was the ‘good girl’. I knew that being a Christian was the right thing to do and that salvation was the only way to heaven. But I figured I had time.
As a busy university student, this didn’t really seem like the right time. I had too many things going on in my life. It’s not that I was bent on partying, I was just too busy with my studies to slow down and think about weighty issues such as salvation. But something happened that stopped me in my tracks.
No more Running
You see, I left my friends’ apartment that day, a broken woman.
All throughout the Bible study, I kept a very brave face. As a matter of fact, my friends thought I wasn’t moved by any of it. Boy, were they wrong.
On the outside was a face of steel. But on the inside, I was shaken to the core. It’s just that my pride wouldn’t let me show it.
The minute I got out of the door and on to the street, I was a broken mess.
Tweet ThisThat summer day on the upper West side I came face to face with my sin and Jesus’ sacrifice.
That day was the best day of my life. Because it was also the day I chose to stop running from God.
What made me stop? It was Jesus’Â immense love for me that brought me home.
That was 21 years ago. And every day since then, I’m glad that I decided to make that decision to run to God.
How can I? How can you?
I remember thinking, ‘now that I know what Jesus did for me, how can I not respond? There’s no turning back’.
Perhaps you can relate to my story.
If you’ve been running, my prayer is that you will choose to run to God.
Perhaps your friend has been sharing the reason she has hope but you think it’s not for you.
Maybe you feel God nudging you to go to church but you fear you won’t fit in.
Maybe the Bible seems like a bunch of rules and contradictions and just a wee bit out of date.
Maybe you’ve heard about this salvation thing but you just don’t know where to start.
Maybe the truth is, you’re busy running in the other direction (away from God) and you don’t even know it.
There is hope
If any of this is true, I encourage you to give these three things a try.
- Look for God. He promises that when you seek Him, you will find Him (Jeremiah 29:13). Expect him to show up in unexpected ways. It might be a friend inviting you to church or a Bible study. Or it might be that still, small voice encouraging you to choose the path you know to be right. Be open to what He is doing in your life and how He’s reaching out to you.
- Pray and thank God for everything (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Even when things aren’t going the way you hope, know that God is crafting a greater plan. When you pray about what you’re going through this will help develop your trust in Him. Pray also to embrace His will for your life. One thing I know for sure is that God wants you to be saved. (1 Timothy 2:3-4)
- Listen for God’s voice. God speaks to us through His word, the Bible. A great place to start is by reading the book of John. There you’ll learn from Jesus’ example and get glimpses into how He lived his life. All that’s written in the Bible is so that we might believe. (John 20:31)
I’m not perfect and there are some days I still feel like running away. What keeps me faithful is God’s intense, unshakable love for me. He refuses to give up on me! How could I give up on him?
If you’re tired of running away, I would love to pray for you. You can get in touch with me by using the contact page or simply email me at sunsparkleshine at gmail dot com.
Together let’s make the decision to run to God!
What about you?
Are you running away from God?
Are you allowing your pride to stop you from embracing God’s truth?
Are you too busy to even notice Him?
If you’ve already chosen to run to God, please share what keeps you faithful to Him.
Wishing you blessings!
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Our stories are the leading of His love towards others, Marva. Your story is beautiful and will touch others because of your honesty. I remember hearing those things too and feeling my heart break at the thought of my own inclusion in his pain. 🙂
Thank you for being a part of the #GraceMoments Community.
Bless you,
Dawn
Thank you, Dawn. I am humbled at the thought of others being touched by my story. I pray God uses it to inspire others to run to him.
Thanks for being such a gracious host at #GraceMoments. Blessings!
I LOVE this, and I pray that your testimony reaches far and wide, that many others might be inspired by God’s tender work in your life. Thank you for sharing this with us at Grace & Truth!
Thank you, Jennifer. That is my prayer as well.
I appreciate you stopping by and leaving such an encouraging comment. See you again soon at Grace & Truth.
Marva- this was beautiful. Thank you for being vulnerable and transparent! You’re changing lives!
Oh, you’re too sweet, Shannon. I’m glad that we connected and I look forward to visiting you again soon.
Blessings!
Such a beautiful story and message! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story with all of us at the #HappyNow link-up and for encouraging others to stop running. I feel honored to have been able to read this message that is so much bigger than any of us.
Wishing you a fantabulous evening!!
Much love,
Lysa xoxo
Lysa, you’ve truly encouraged me. I’m grateful that you can see beyond my story to a God that is bigger than us. He gets all the glory.
I’m so glad you stopped by!
Blessings!
Absolutely beautiful! I’m sharing everywhere because this is HOPE. Thanks for being brave, sharing your story, and encouraging women to look to Jesus. I’m blessed by you!
Thank you, sweet Alison. You are such a blessing and encouragement to me!
Wishing you a weekend that sparkles! 🙂
This is so beautiful, Marva — beautiful message, beautifully written. I think the line that spoke the most to me was: “If there was no one else who ever sinned, He still would die for me.” It is so hard sometimes to grasp that single fact, but on those times when that truth really becomes so crystal clear, it is really staggering to me. Literally stops me in my tracks.
I know what you mean, Wendy. Yet the glimpse that we get is nothing compared to the beautiful picture we’ll have when all the puzzle pieces fit together. His mysteries are beyond anything we can fathom. I’m just so grateful for His grace.
I love this, Marva. Despite growing up going to church it wasn’t until I was a young twenty-something living alone in a studio apartment that I truly began to grasp what Jesus had done. Thanks for sharing your testimony and encouragement with us!
Kelsey, thanks for stopping by. I’m glad God was patient and graceous with both of us!
I’m so glad I’m getting to know you better and I’m definitely enjoying your blog. Hugs!
Marva, I love this. What a beautiful testimony of God’s grace and truth. I was in the same place for many years. I believed in God but I didn’t understand how much he loved me. When we reach that place of realizing what he did for us, there’s no going back. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so glad you can relate and that God rescued you too, Abby. What a blessing!
Thanks for stopping by and leaving some sparkle.
Marva, I am so blessed by your testimony. How powerful is the love of Christ! Thank you for sharing it at The Loft. You are a beautiful addition to our community!
Aww…Leah. You’re so sweet. I’m feeling right at home at The Loft. Thanks for your warmth and hospitality!
What a wonderful testimony, Marva! Love this one!
Thank you for sharing how God got a hold of your heart. I think many people will be able to relate to your story!
I’m sharing this one all around.
Blessed by you~
Melanie
Thanks so much for your kind words and for passing this along. I always appreciate your encouragement, Melanie. Thanks for showing me the ropes — especially on Pinterest. You’re the best!
Great post, Marva! Thank you for sharing at The Loft today. I’m sure there are many who can relate.
Thanks for visiting, Jarralea. I was just telling Leah the other day how much I enjoy spending time with you at the Loft. You ladies have made it such a warm and welcoming place. Thank you!
So thankful that you stopped running away, Marva! The line about being busy spoke to me today. Thank you kindly for sharing. Bless you, sister!
Thanks, Lora. I’m glad God used my words to touch your heart. I pray you’ll never be too busy to listen to His voice and follow His lead. Blessings!
Over 30 years ago I kept running and running. Until He stopped me in my tracks too. From then on, life changed, I changed my story changed. Wonderful testimony here and praying that even one person reading it will stop running!
I’m so glad you stopped running too, Michelle! Thank you for praying for that one soul to be transformed. That is my prayer as well.
Blessings to you, my friend.
I so very much remember the day I ran toward Jesus after running for so long away. It was the day my life changed. What a gorgeous blog today about God’s love and our shortcomings, about how he loves us so much anyway, and wants us..all of us..
Isn’t God amazing, Kathy? As much as we ran, He gave us the space and still welcomed us without judgement. What a great example He’s set for us. I pray I can extend this kind of grace to others.
So beautiful, sweet friend! You worded this with such hope and truth. I am stopping to pray right now that the Lord puts this in the hands of those who need to hear it. I’m sharing this everywhere!
Love,
Lori
Thanks for your prayers, sweet friend. I join you in praying that it offers hope to those searching for it! Thanks too for sharing.
I hope you’re having a lovely weekend.
Blessings <3
Marva,
I love reading your story and how God’s love broke through to your heart. So powerful. Rejoicing with you that you stopping running from God and instead toward Him 🙂
Thank you, Dolly. I’m rejoicing too! It was by far the best decision I ever made. All by his grace!
Thanks for stopping by.
So beautiful Marva, thanks for sharing!
Hi Tega, how nice of you to visit and leave some sparkle on my page!
I hope you were blessed by it.
I love everything about this post. Absolutely beautiful and full of truth. So glad you stopped running 🙂
I’m glad I stopped running too, Tiffany. God only knows where I would’ve been right now. God is so full of grace, He allowed me the space to run but was always right there keeping a watchful eye on me. Even now, He gives me freedom to choose my path but lovingly calls me back when I get ahead of myself. I am moved by how loving, gentle and patient He is with me. What a great lesson in parenting, huh?
Thanks for the sparkle, dear friend!
Marva this is beautiful. We really can find a home and refuge in our Savior. Thank you for sharing this with me today over at the #happynowlinkup. I needed to read this. Hugs!
Hi Jen, I’m so excited for you and the debut of your #happynowlinkup! I’m glad I was able to join you today to kick it off. I pray that it will be a place of encouragement for all who visit.
Thanks for your sweet words. Jesus is certainly a safe haven and my hope is to share Him with as many as possible.
Blessings to you!
Marva, I can so relate to your story. I was the girl who grew up in church and knew all the right answers. I knew God with my head, but my heart was closed off. I also remember the day it was opened. The day God showed up in such a powerful way that I couldn’t deny His sacrifice for me any longer. I love how He jumps right into our boat and grabs ahold of us like only He can. What a beautiful story of His redeeming power in your life! Sharing this today!
Thanks for visiting and sharing my story, Alisa. I pray that it will be a blessing to many others.
I love how you describe Jesus jumping into our boat and rescuing us — that’s exactly what He did for me, and I’m so grateful. So glad to know that you can relate.
Blessings to you my #CBBbuddy! 🙂
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story!
You’re welcome, Anne. I’m so glad you took the time to visit and leave a kind word. I pray you were blessed!
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story, Marva. Yes, there is always hope. God never gives up on us. I love that about Him. God’s love is so amazing.
Thank you, Dawn. God truly is amazing and He continues to amaze me more and more everyday. Most of all, I’m just grateful that He puts up with me. I know you can relate. 🙂
Blessings, my friend!
Thanks for sharing Marva. I agree with you, knowing the truth and ‘owning’ it is two different things and it’s when we own the truth (make it our own and accept it) that it sets us free. I love your site and the sunshine you spread!
Hi Lily, I’m so glad our paths crossed. You’re already blessing me with your sunshine.
You’re right about owning and accepting the truth as the path to true freedom. God is so gracious that He never forces us but just like a loving Father, He always knows what’s best for us. I’m so glad He was so patient with me.
Hope to connect with you again soon!
Oh, Marva, I love reading your story. I’m a saved broken mess too. I grew up in church. If the doors were open we were there. I went to parochial schools and married a minister. I knew all the answers. But deep down I think I believed I needed something more than just Jesus. Jesus plus being a good girl, a great mom, a perfect wife . . . and what if I failed. And then I did and God’s amazing grace and love scooped me up making me realize He was more than enough. Thanks for this beautiful post. I pray it touches many hearts with His truth. <3
Deb, too often we think that we have to add to what Jesus has already done. He doesn’t need us to do more or be more. He’s already done it all. I’m so moved by His grace for you, for me. He is just amazing!
Thank you for your kind friendship, for your wisdom and for taking the time to share your love. You bless me, my friend.