Have you ever had to come to terms with an uncomfortable truth?
I remember in my early college days there was a guy I liked and who I liked me. AND another girl. Somehow I was in denial, though. I fooled myself into believing that it was just a little sneaky suspicion and decided not to give it too much thought.
One fateful day during one of our library ‘encounters’, he reluctantly but decidedly told me that there was someone else.
“No big deal”, I thought. I knew it all along. But the truth is, it felt a whole lot better when it was only in my mind. Once it was said out loud, it was much too real for my liking. There was no denying the truth of it.
Enter Facebook
So what does this have to do with Facebook?
There’s something I’ve known for a while but have refused to say out loud or even admit to myself.
I love Facebook.
Maybe the truth is more like, I am consumed by Facebook. (Squirm)
It doesn’t even seem right to type those words.
In my mind, I think I have very good reasons for being on Facebook. Often.
Yes, as a blogger, it’s one of the key tools I use to share my message with the world. And it’s a good message. A godly message. And if there’s one thing this world needs more of it’s a good word. So what could be so wrong?
Well here’s the thing. When I turn to Facebook before turning to God, there’s a problem.
First Things First
Tweet ThisFor many days, okay maybe weeks – (I don’t even know how long it’s been – it just kind of snuck up on me) – Facebook has been my go-to thing when I wake up. Even on those mornings when I have my devotions first, my mind is thinking about how the message I’m reading could be turned into a Facebook post. Then guess what happens? To Facebook I go! Never pausing long enough to allow God’s word to sink into my heart. I hope you can’t relate. But maybe you can.
What’s Important?
When I realised what was happening, I turned to my husband in discouragement. “I really don’t think I’m disciplined”, I whined. And you know what that sweet man did? He told me the truth. (God bless him). My dear hubby gently pointed out that it wasn’t a lack of discipline that was the problem but rather a matter of priorities gone wrong.
Ouch, yes. But so true.
I make time for the things that are important to me.
Back to the Basics
That boyfriend-girlfriend situation in college woke me up to reality. Finally coming face to face with the truth allowed me to do something about it. Needless to say, it gave me the push I needed to move on from that relationship and we’ve since lost touch. No love lost.
The same is true with my Facebook fascination. Seeing it for what it is, helps me to deal with it.
So dear friends, I’ve made a decision. And I’m sharing it here with you so that you can hold me accountable.
I will put God above Facebook.
More specifically, for the next 21 days (the time it takes to form a new habit), when I awake I will turn to God first. I will spend at least thirty minutes in the Bible and in prayer before doing anything else, including (and especially) Facebook.
In fact, I’ve been doing this for the past week and what a difference it has made. Facebook’s pull on me is weakening every day.
Now this may not be a concern for you and by no means am I saying that Facebook is bad. I still use it to share encouraging and godly messages daily. But this is what works for me:
- Use one block of time to schedule Facebook posts (for my business/blog pages)
- Close out Facebook browser on my computer
- Turn off Facebook notifications on my phone
- Check and respond to messages at specific times during the day
- Have a clear purpose for my time on Facebook
This way I’m still able to engage with my Facebook friends without being tempted to respond to the ‘pings’ that beckon to me almost constantly. It might seem like a small change but it’s making a huge difference.
If you need encouragement in this area too, here are a few scriptures that are helping me.
Read: Deuteronomy 30:17-18
Ask: What am I putting before God? What is drawing me away?
Read: Matthew 6:19-21
Ask: Based on how I spend my time, where would others say my treasure is?
Read: Matthew 6:33
Ask: Am I seeking God and His kingdom above everything else?
What about you?
Maybe Facebook isn’t your thing, but maybe there’s something else that’s pulling you away from God.
Would you dare saying it out loud?
Will you make a decision to run to God today?
Wishing you blessings!
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Well, Marva … your story is my story except that it’s blogging that so easily takes first place. I’ve been wrestling with this and working on it. God continues to invite me to the quiet place which sure does surpass anything and everything online.
I’m truly grateful to have met you today …
Marva, love the thought that it is a priority problem rather than a discipline problem. Makes me stop and think, “what’s my focus?” If it is Jesus, I’m doing well. If not, I need an attitude adjustment. Definitely going to be doing some thinking here …
Thanks for sharing at The Loft today.
It’s always my honour to visit you at the loft, Jerralea!
Yes, I think my husband was on to something and it’s got me thinking ever since. Please stop by and let me know what conclusions you come to after you’ve had some time to think about it too. I love to hear from you. We’re in this together!
WoW What an uplifting place to be. I know already how much God is in these conversations. So glad I came across this.
So pleased to have you visit, DonnaAnn. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend.
I have been wrestling this same dragon, Marva. I recognize it for what it is, and yet I still struggle with it. Had to smile when you said your mind automatically went to “how can I share this in a facebook post” — done that! 🙂 Working on my own schedule for how to use FB effectively here, too, but more importantly, also working on my priorities. You are speaking right to me, today!
It’s not easy, Wendy and I speak from a place of understanding. We’re in this together. Let’s beat that dragon!!! 🙂
I think this is a great topic of discussion, Marva, and I appreciate the way you’ve shared from your own experience here. This will be my feature at A Divine Encounter on Friday! Thanks so much for being part of our community at Grace & Truth. 🙂
Jennifer, I really appreciate your vote of confidence. With this being featured at Grace & Truth, I pray it will be an opportunity for many more to hear this message and commit to putting God first. Thank you so much!
Blessings!
Turn to the good book before facebook is a great line and good reminder.
I’m glad you liked it, Aileen. Keeping it simple will help me put things in perspective and I hope it helps you too.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hi Marva!
This post is so right on! Facebook was beginning to consume my life, so I removed it from my cell phone (and messenger too!) and found that my life changed for the better – especially since I didn’t have the constant distraction coming from the phone (like you mentioned above) and I had to go to my computer to find out what was happening.
Question:::how do you turn off the notifications on your phone? I didn’t know that was possible without removing the entire app. Thanks for sharing!
BTW:::I’m looking forward to your “I am Woman” feature on Grammie Time.
What a blessing, to have you stop by Tiffiney, I was just visiting your site this morning and loved your ‘My Husband is a Rockstar’ post!
I’m glad you can relate to my FB confession. 🙂 On my Android (Samsung Galaxy S5) I’ve turned off the sound notifications so I don’t hear the new alerts but I’ve also moved the app to my hidden apps (not on any of my front screens) so that I don’t see the number of new messages either. I physically have to scroll through all of my apps to find it. This works for me because it’s there when I need it but I’m not distracted by the image of a growing number or alerts beckoning to me. I’ve had friends who’ve removed the app from their phones all together and while I haven’t ruled that out, right now this is a good fit for me.
I too, am excited about the ‘I Am Woman’ series with Michelle (Grammie Time). Mine will be on 4/20 and I’m looking forward to reading all the amazing posts that I just know will be a great encouragement for many women.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your sparkle!
Really good advice–I’ve struggled with this myself. It’s so easy to get sucked into performing for your Facebook audience. Your boundaries are wise.
I’m beginning to realise that I’m not alone in this, Leigh. I guess FB has been doing such a great job catching our attention, but now we have to decide if that’s really where our attention should be.
Thanks for stopping by!
Important discussion here. Thank you for being transparent. Last year, I changed my FB timeline to a FB Page (even though I already had a FB Page for my blog, but made the decision to close that & go this route). There are positives & negatives to this, but one thing I do not miss is the desire to check the feed all day & evening – because once you have only a Page, you have no timeline feed. It’s not for everyone, but I’ve benefited. Still learning to discipline myself on social media, & even blogging tasks – especially in those morning hours. #FaithFilledFriday
Thanks for visiting, Karlene. You’re so right about the positives and negatives. I always find in these things that can seem like grey areas, we need to find what works best according to our own situations. Sounds like you’ve found a good balance.
Keep at it, dear friend. With God’s help you can do it!
Marva, This was such a great post!
I appreciated so much the Scripture verses you shared and the questions we are to ask ourselves. Perfect questions really, that get to the heart of the matter.
Your post convicted and encouraged me. Thank you so much for sharing!
Thanks for your kind words, Karen. Trust me, those scriptures convicted and encouraged me too! 🙂 So I’m glad you found them helpful.
I appreciate you stopping by!
Marva –
Thank you so much for your honesty in regards to Facebook – I too find myself turning to facebook instead or before turning to the Word of God :/ thank you for the encouragement and steps. When we do a fast – in addition to food I give up, I usually give up Facebook too, and continue to do well in keeping it in check for a month or two…. but somehow it always sneaks back to the top of my time sucker list … Again, thank you. We are neighbors at #CofeeShopConversations & I also found you over at #FaithFilledFriday
Debbie, it’s good to see that we bump into each other at various places. Sounds like you know all the best hang out spots. 🙂
Yes, Facebook is indeed quite sneaky but as with anything else, I think the key is moderation. And it can be used for good as much as anything else. Just this morning I joined in a prayer group with some Christian women on Facebook and it was such a sweet honour to lift them up in prayer. I thought, ‘now here’s a much better use of my FB time!’
Hope to run into you again this week!
This is a beautiful spiritual discipline, Marva. It’s so tempting to start clicking through all our social media before we do anything else. I typically do try to read my Bible before I do that, but I’ve recently finished a 2-yr-cycle of reading through the Bible, and I’m currently on “break.” But I’m reminded here that I need to jump right back into it with Genesis and start all over, first thing in the mornings. Thanks for sharing your convictions!
Hi Lisa, what an amazing time that must have been spending quality time in the Word. Do you read it through from chapter to chapter? I’ve started a few times and get stuck somewhere in Leviticus. I’ve found either using the chronological Bible or reading through by themes work better for me.
Please let me know how it goes as you ‘jump back in’!
Ouch, this one definitely touched a weak spot in me! This post is such confirmation for me. The past few days I’ve been grouchy and short tempered and I’m wondering what’s going on with me. God gently pointed out my lack of time with Him and my abundance of time on social media. So my confession is similar to yours… God is so good, though. I love how He lovingly corrects me. He never makes me feel guilty, but just guided me back on the path. I love your suggestions. I definitely need to turn off the notifications. Those are little tempters that vie for my attention. I will be turning those off immediately! Thanks for your transparency. I’m sure many can relate to this!
Alisa, I love how you pointed out God’s gentleness. He never wants us to fall into a guilty pattern so instead he lovingly gives us these little nudges, drawing us back to Him. I love how gracious He is, knowing that we don’t deserve it.
I hope this week you will see the difference it makes to put Him first and enjoy a sweet retreat with Him. Wishing you blessings, my friend! We’re in this together.
Oh, how I have struggled with Facebook as well! I wrote my goodbye post last year and stayed off an entire year before coming back earlier this month for the blog. I found that overall, it wasn’t Facebook that was the problem, but my heart. The Lord had some work to do in me in order to keep my priorities in order. Still, the temptation is still great, and I have to keep
God first in order to make sure I do not walk astray once again. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow, Veronica. Kudos to you for taking an entire year off. I’m so glad that God used that time to speak to your heart.
I agree that we have to continually keep our hearts in check, least we go astray. If it’s not FB, it would be something else. Let’s pray that we will stay focused and committed to Christ in spite of the many distractions.
Blessings!
I love the song “Give Me Jesus.” I also loved the Scriptures you used as a guide for evaluating our time with Jesus versus other things.
Thanks for visiting, Leslie. I found a version of “Give Me Jesus” that I really like — it’s by Danny Gokey and it’s now my favourite. I listen to it many mornings as I start my day. Do you have a favourite version?
Great thoughts on how to manage facebook! I’ve been wondering the same, how to discipline myself more during the day regarding facebook. Your husband is very wise. Yes, it is definitely about priority.
Thanks, Lynn. I’m sure my hubby would be encouraged by your words — he is indeed wise. 🙂 I’m so glad you stopped by and I hope you found it helpful. If you come up with any other tips, I’d love to hear them!
Marva, thanks so much for this. For me it’s media in general and Instagram in particular. Just the other day I deleted the fb ap from my phone bc i found it such a time-sucker. But Instagram is really my pull. Thanks so much for the reminder to put God first.
Janelle, the funny thing is that Instagram is next in line on my list of distractions. It’s so addictive isn’t it? I like that you’ve taken some steps already and will pray for you to continually find ways to make God #1!
Hugs to you, my friend! It always puts a big smile on my face to see you here. I appreciate you so much.
I can so relate to this Marva. I only recently joined FB to be on some blogging groups and I now understand the pull everyone talks about. I have to limit my time too.
The struggle is real, Michelle! It’s so easy to get sucked in. I’m trying really hard to be deliberate and have a plan every time I sign on. Let’s hold each other accountable. Together we can do this!
Blessings!
I love this!! I’m a Facebook fan too..and that FB app on my phone is no good! I find myself checking Facebook a few times a day..ugh! I love how it reminds you of the wake up call about the guy! I especially love your plan of action to spend more time with God and the scriptures you chose to reflect up are perfect..such encouragement!! We need to leave our phones far from our beds in the morning! Wonderful reminder, I will be thinking of this all week as I go to grab the phone to look at FB…and I won’t let it get the better of me! And I will join you in making sure my prayer time is my morning time..no distractions!!
Kathy, I’m so glad we’re in this together! FB has such a powerful draw but we won’t let it get the best of us. Our best belongs to our Father in heaven! With His strength we can put our priorities in right order.
Blessings!
Funny, I’ve done the same thing this week. I blocked out the first 30 minutes and devoted them to God and reading His word. I can’t open my Ipad until I have put Him first. What a great post!
We’re on the same page, Valerie. God knew that we needed to make this switch!
Hugs!
I have had roommates at conferences who check FB and Twitter while still in bed. That has never been a draw for me. Now coffee is another early morning matter entirely. It is easy to loose track of time on FB for sure. How wise to recognize and turn from too much of a good thing.
How about devotions and coffee, Ginger? That always work for me!
I always love it when you stop by.
Ouch! This one got me, Marva! It’s so easy to get caught up in FB and lose all track of time!
Love the honesty and encouragement of this post.
Sharing it all around!
Sure do appreciate you and your ministry~
Melanie
I have a feeling we’re not in this alone, Melanie. Facebook is great on so many levels but just like any good thing we’ve gotta use it in moderation.
Thanks for your constant encouragement. I appreciate you too, my friend!
This is so what I needed! I love the scriptures that you used, they are both sobering and encouraging! Thanks for being open to God’s heart and sharing it with all of us!
Stefani, that scripture in Deuteronomy really spoke to me. Once I read it, it became very clear that I was being drawn away from God. Sobering for sure and encouraging too because it goes on to say how we can avoid being pulled away. The WORD is the key!
Thanks for visiting, my friend!
Oh yes, I can relate! It really helped when I turned off the notifications from Facebook on my phone. Every time it used to “ding” I felt some weird compulsion to check it right then. As I read this, I realized that my Bible time got away from me this morning. So I’m off to do that now!
I’m so glad this reminded you to spend time with God today, Dawn. God uses the little things sometimes to get our attention! 🙂
Sending you hugs and wishing you a great week in the Word.
YES! I have struggled with the same things. I’m so glad you shared this–I think we ALL have to reexamine our relationship with social media every so often, especially when it’s such a part of our work as writers. Thanks so much for sharing!
Elizabeth, it really does make it hard when we rely on FB to share our work and further our ministry. Thankfully, God gave me the nudge to nip it in the bud and use FB more wisely. And you’re right, I can’t just rest on my laurels, I’d be wise to reassess ever so often.
Thanks for the visit! <3
Facebook and social media in general isn’t my thing, and I don’t even have a smartphone! I’m a rebel ;). But I do like a good mystery show, and I do NOT start my way with my Father as I should. I only say a short prayer alone and then the Our Father in a rush on the way to school with my children. Your post is very apt.
Thanks for sharing that, Hillary. If isn’t one thing it’s another, right? There are so many ‘good distractions’! I hope this has encouraged you to look carefully at what’s important to you and not allow guilt to set in.
Blessings to you!
This is sooooo good, Marva! I felt a bit of a guilt nudge myself. I really like the structure you’re adding to your facebook time and of course starting the day with the Lord first. Blessings my friend! You are an inspiration!!
Thank you, Deb. You know how hard it was for me to pull away but the blessings are so worth it!
I’m so happy that you’re encouraged.
Social media is truly a very slippery slope! I am so proud of you for making these changes! These are such great tips. I find that I waste time on Facebook when I could be doing other more productive things. As I wait in doctor’s offices or at a practice with my kids, those moments could be spent outlining another blog post , emailing or texting an encouraging word to someone, or any of the million little things I need and want to do. However, it is just so easy to click the app and catch up while I wait. I know that sometimes is fine, but I think, as you wrote, maybe having specific times set for Facebook would significantly help the matter!
Hugs,
Lori
Awww…thanks for the kind words, Lori. We certainly wouldn’t want to be legalistic about it but having some boundaries has certainly helped me at this point in time. I still will check in every now and again but now I’m so much more mindful of the amount of time I spend.
Thanks for your support, my friend!
Oh, I so love your honesty, Marva, and your unceasing desire for more of God. May He continue to bless you richly with more of Him.
Thank you, Carlie. I’m finding that confession is definitely good for the soul. 🙂
Blessings to you!