What is it about letting go that makes us want to keep holding on?
We hold on to our past. Our failures. Our lost dreams. Our broken identity.
Or if you’re like me you hold on to expectations.
Expectations of what life *should* be like, now that you’re married … have the dream job … the two kids and a dog. You know…all the things you thought would make life different. Better perhaps.
That is, until you realise that happiness isn’t wrapped up in someone or even something else.
Still, so many of the things we hold firmly to aren’t helping us become our best selves.
Maybe it’s time to be reminded that in order to move forward, we need to let go of some unnecessary baggage.
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It’s a hard lesson, friend. And it’s one that I’m learning over and over again.
Like recently when I had a disagreement with my husband.
Let’s just say, we both looked at the same situation from very different angles. He thought all was fine. But I felt hurt and belittled.
As I moaned to my friend and recounted all the wrongs my husband had committed, she listened patiently. She even empathised.
But then she gently and lovingly pointed out something I was clearly missing.
I needed to let go of my need for significance.
Trust me, it hurt me to hear those words more than it hurt you to read them just now.
Everything in me wanted to be heard, to feel special and to feel important.
Didn’t she get it?
He wasn’t helping me to shine!
My brilliance was being snuffed out because of his thoughtlessness!
I laugh at myself now but that’s exactly how I was feeling.
Me, me, me!
And it was exactly the opposite of what God wanted for me.
I needed to let go of my pride.
In my need to feel important and valued, I had lost sight of God’s desire for me to make myself less.
He must become greater; I must become less. John 3:30 NIV
I had lost sight of my audience of one.
I was busy thinking about how I looked in other people’s eyes rather than God’s. Too busy measuring myself by the world’s standards and what the world thought of me.
And worse, I kept my eyes focused on my husband’s actions rather than my own.
In that moment I needed to let go of my pride. Only then could I see the lesson God kept in store for me to truly help me shine.
It was a bitter pill to swallow. Â And frankly, that misunderstanding with my husband did hurt. But I learned a valuable lesson.
The struggles we have aren’t meant to hurt us, but to grow us up.
Every struggle you have will help you develop the strength you need to fly. – Chrystal Evans Hurst, She’s Still ThereÂ
I can’t promise that letting go will be easy.
No, letting go is hardly easy, especially if it’s a hurt you’ve held onto for a very long time. What I can say is that we experience true freedom when we trust God with our pain. When we let go, He gives beauty in return.
Tweet ThisThe same is true for the other baggage you’ve been carrying.
Broken identity.
Fear.
Failures.
Brokenness.
Put them all in God’s capable hands, and watch Him give you the strength you need to fly.
How about you?
What baggage do you feel compelled to leave at Jesus’ feet today?
Feel free to share it in the comments so that we can encourage one another.
Wishing you blessings,Â
I’m honoured to be a Rescue Team member for Chrystal Evans Hurst’s book She’s Still There, which inspired this post. She’s Still There became the #1 New Release on Amazon for Christian Personal Growth, even before its release. To read more about the book or to order your very own copy you can visit this link. Â There are also special bonuses available when you pre-order before the August 8 release date.
As a member of the She’s Still There Rescue Team I received an advance copy of the book for review purposes. The views and opinions I’ve expressed here are my own. Plus, I only share resources that I love and trust.
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I’m taking a break for the next couple of weeks to spend some time with my family. When I come back on August 29, I will have a special treat to share with you, and it’s all about renewing your spirit! I’ll be joining my friend Dawn Klinge for her online retreat, Renew, which begins on September 11 (get a sneak peak here). I hope you’ll join us!
So many things I constantly need to let go of. Funny thing is I think I have and then somehow I reach out to grab them again. This looks like a great book. Thank you for sharing. Maree
Thanks for sharing, Marva. I relate too much to holding on to pride, and it’s very easy to fall into seeking a sense of significance from other people’s praise or attention rather than finding it in God! So important to let go! Thanks for sharing about the book too. I’m doing a study of it with Proverbs 31 in a few weeks but got it last week and have already started the first few chapters. It’s good to hear more about what you took from it.
I really think you get to the root of most of our problems – expectation. I notice that every single time I look to somebody or somebody else rather than God to fill me, I can’t help but to be let down. Relationships are so much more enjoyable when we’re able to view them through realistic terms. Great post this week Marva!! I’m so glad you’ve shared it at #GritUp. Have a wonderful day.
I heard about Chrystal’s story in a podcast. Her perspective is so refreshing. Thanks for recommending the book!
I think you’ll enjoy it, Michele and perhaps you’ll do a book review on your site. If you do, please let me know. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Blessings to you, dear friend.
Hi, Marva. I found you on the #GRITupAndGo linkup.
Love this line, “In that moment I needed to let go of my pride. Only then could I see the lesson God kept in store for me to truly help me shine,” because I’ve been there!
There’s a great little Tim Keller book that helped me alot with this. It’s called, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. Your post reminded me of it.
Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing your struggles with us all.
Thanks, for visiting and for the book recommendation, Carol. It sounds like it might be just what I need. 🙂
Glad to know that I’m not alone.
Blessings and sparkles!
All I need is that audience of One. Praise the Lord!!! The world’s measure of us depends on how our productivity, but the way our Jesus measures is always accurate and constant.
It is so important to let go and LET GOD. Thank you so much for this amazing nugget of truth today.
Enjoy your family time!
Diana
Diana, thanks for reminding us that it’s God’s standards that are really important here.
Hugs and blessings to you and yours!
Oh, Marv, I just love your honesty and transparency here! I think you know how hard it is for me to let go, and letting it all go… surrendering it all to God… is most difficult of all, but there is a sweet joy when we do. Thanks for the timely encouragement. God always knows. 🙂
Yes, He sure does. He knows just what we need when we need it and I’m so glad this spoke to you as it did. We’re in this together, that’s for sure!
Hi Marva, I hadn’t really made the connection before – about pride being what keeps us from letting go. But you are right! Making that connection will hopefully help me do a better job at giving it to God! Thank you!
Yep, it’s that feeling that I know best or my way is the right way — they get me every time! Gosh, how does God ever put up with me? Lol.
But seriously, I pray that God will show you areas that you need to release to Him. You’ll be amazed how refreshed you will feel. (Acts 3:19)
Beautiful words to remind us to let go. I need prayer to let go of hurts and betrayals from those I thought were my close friends. I sometimes pick up the hurts and carry them with me. This behavior holds me back and hinders me in my journey. My prayer, “place them all in God’s capable hands and watch Him give me the strength I need to fly.” Thank you for sharing.
Robin, I pray that God will bless you with the gift of letting go. You’re so right about how much holding on actually holds us back. I know that too well. Thankfully, I’m also learning how to let go and find God’s peace in the process.
Thanks for sharing your heart with us! Blessings <3
Marva, thank you so much for being vulnerable with us! This post was FULL of wisdom and I love your words. “The struggles we have aren’t meant to hurt us, but to grow us up.” Lordy isn’t that the truth????
Yes, girl. I think I’m learning it the hard way but there’s beauty even in that.
Love you much!
Marva, I have always considered myself as someone who doesn’t hold on to things. Yet, this blog convicted me. I hold on to expectations. Yes, I do. I have resented the fact that after three plus decades of marriage, we still don’t have our own house. It’s a strong desire and I think it’s a need. In reality, it is a luxury that I am not entitled to. (It hurt to say it) Thanks for sharing the truth and allowing God to use you as his messenger.
Calvonia, I am so moved by your gut-wrenching honesty. I’m convinced that God works powerfully through that kind of realness. And I’m humbled to share words that will bring you closer to healing.
Remember God loves to give His children good things and I’m sure He’s never let you down. I’m excited by what he will do as you move forward.
Praying for you!
Thank you for the prayers.
Letting go isn’t easy but God is so faithful! This sounds like a good book, BTW thank you for the mention! I’m excited to get to share with your readers later this month.
Dawn, I found myself nodding in agreement and taking notes, all through Chrystal’s book. It’s a keeper!
And yes, I can’t wait to share more about what you’ve been cooking up for us. I know that will be amazing too!
Marva, This is so full of truth and just the reminder I needed. In my heart I know I want to live for an audience of One and yet when it comes to the living it out . . . well, let’s just say I fall short waaaaay to often!! Thank you for this gentle and honest nudge back to what’s important. Blessings to you, my friend!!
We hate to fall, don’t we Deb? But if there’s ever a good thing about falling it’s that Jesus is always there ready to pick us up. The audience of one is also our biggest cheerleader. 🙂
Looking back, and yes, even now in the present, my most difficult times have been when I was focused on me, my perceived fairness, expectation the list is endless. When we stop and see things from other people perceptive, we can give more patience and kindness.
Great point, Deborah. Trying to see things from other people’s perspectives is an area I’m trying to grow in. I’m so grateful God is patient with me! 🙂
Blessings to you!