And I don’t mean just showing him with words, either. Why, our actions should speak the loudest.
Last year, I wrote a post for the Imperfect Wives series on Busy Being Blessed. That post, 5 Ways to Make Him Significant Again turned out to the most popular post on my blog – ever. And up until now, it is the only post I’ve ever written specifically about marriage.
It’s not that I don’t like writing about marriage, but I guess you could say, I really don’t feel qualified to do so. My husband and I have been married nearly 14 years and we’ve learned a thing or two in that period of time. But the biggest lesson we’ve learned is that any success we’ve achieved is thanks to the goodness of God, not any win that we could claim for ourselves.
But back to this significance thing.
It turns out that I’m not the only one who needs to pay close attention to making my husband feel significant. So, in case you’re in the same boat, I offer 5 more tips for making him feel special and loved.
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Put God first
No, I didn’t make a mistake with the heading. I know that this post is about supporting our husbands, but stick with me.
Truly the best way I can encourage my husband is by being the best wife I can be. And that starts with my relationship with God.
This concept is similar to one I read a few years ago in the book The Power of a Praying Wife. The absolute first chapter of the book started not with praying for your husband, but praying for his wife. And that stuck with me.
If we are to be our husbands’ biggest cheerleader, we must work on ourselves – not in a selfish way, but in terms of allowing God to shape us and mold us into the wife he needs.
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Support his dreams
You know the old saying, ‘when you get married the two become one’. All too often the reality looks more like each of us vying for our own space in the spotlight. But how different would it be if you decided in your heart to support his dreams?
How many times have you worried about something that never even came to fruition? Frankly speaking, if it’s a really crazy idea, God might have other plans in mind. And that daydream will never amount to anything. But if his bright idea is really from God, then you’d be foolhardy to try to squelch it.
Rather than squashing his dreams, focus on being his biggest fan. And leave the rest to God.
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Talk behind his back
In a good way, of course. Compliment him. Tell your girlfriends about how he read bedtime stories to the kids so you could have some downtime. Brag about his mad cooking skills to his friends (and mean it). No snickering. Think about what he’s good at and talk it up with your friends.
The perk here of course, is that it if you brag about him to the right person it can get back to him and that would be a double-perk.
But beyond that, it puts him in a good light in your eyes. And that’s like falling in love all over again.
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Meet him half way, and then some
You’ve heard it said that marriage is a two-way street and that is so true. There’s a lot of give and take and the best thing you can do is forget about keeping score. Do your part to meet him half way. In fact, I’d go so far as to say put him first above everyone else including yourself. Romans 12:10
This might be unheard of in our modern culture but putting your husband first and meeting his needs reaps rewards beyond what we can see today.
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Water the seeds and starve the weeds
This saying is one that my sister, Carlie says often in relation to parenting. Amazingly, it applies just as well to marriage. It basically suggests that we focus on the good (the seeds) and celebrate those, all while playing down the things we don’t like (the weeds) by giving them less attention.
So, make a big fuss about the things he’s doing well and tell him often how grateful you are. As for the things that you don’t like, well, sometimes it’s better to learn to just let those go.
I’m definitely still working on this one!
So, there you have it folks, five more tips to make him significant again — in your eyes and his.
What about you?
What other tips would you offer? How do you make your husband feel significant? Believe me, I’m taking notes.
By the way, in my last marriage post, I also shared a free download with 15 extra tips to help you speak your husband’s love language. You can get yours here.
Wishing you blessings,
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Such a great post, Marva! And I think you are more than qualified to write on marriage…you just proved it with this post;)
Thanks for sharing on Grace and Truth.
I love number 5!! The more that I focus on the positive things about my husband, the more grateful I will be, which will lead to a happier marriage. Thanks for the encouragement!
Marva! This is so, so good! Loved what you chose to suggest and I agree. Those make such a difference to our husbands and I am blessed to be reminded of them today:) Great insight and thank you for sharing!
I agree and I agree. I blogged on this very thing this week. Marriage is tough but making it a priority is so important to a healthy marriage. And, you offer excellent suggestions to do just that.
Love these, Marva! I like the talking about him in a good way. These days people often look surprised when you say something good about your husband.
That is so true, Kelly but I believe we should ‘catch’ them doing good and talk about it. Too often our culture suggests doing just the opposite but as Christian women we are called to a higher standard.
Thanks for stopping by today!
This is an awesome post! I love all of your points, but especially #5. There’s an old saying from somewhere that reads something like, “If you want your man to be great, tell him that he already is.” I’ve definitely followed this in my own life, and it pays off. I have a great man all around.
As far as other tips, being willing to let other things slide so I can have more time with him is a big one. I do most of the housework, but it’s hard to get it all done with a one year old. So when he gets home from work, I usually have a choice: finish chores or spend time with him.
That’s a great point, Lauren. Sometimes we have to remember that the house won’t actually fall down around us if we let one chore go (or two). 🙂 It’s key that we keep the more important things in perspective, like spending time with your hubby. And as for keeping up with a one year old, well, the Lord bless you, cause I remember those days.
Thanks so much for stopping by and adding some spark to the conversation.
Blessings and sparkles!
This is such practical advice! Looking forward to sharing this with my young married friends 🙂
Yes, please share it, Hannah. And I’d love to hear what extra tips they have to offer. Like I said, I’m taking notes! 🙂
Blessings to you!
I love Carlie’s saying. “Water the seeds . . . starve the weeds.” That’s awesome. Going to remember that and YES, to all your other great tips too. Great post!
I love the saying too, Deb! I found it, through a friend, years ago on a site called Terrific Parenting and it has always stuck with me. I’m not great at following the advice though. Let’s just say I’m a work in progress. 🙂
All such GREAT tips Marva! Making him feel signifiant is so important. I love your tips!
Thanks, Shannon. I’m so glad you liked the tips. Our guys are worth it for sure!
Hugs to you, dear friend!
What great words of wisdom, Marva! Love these ideas.
My favorite is, “Water the seeds and starve the weeds.”
Thanks for encouraging us to make our marriages stronger!
Sure do appreciate you~
Melanie
Thanks for the encouragement, Melanie.
Yes, those words definitely stuck with me too.
Now I just have to put them into practise! 🙂
Blessings!
Oh, I just love this, Marv! I can’t imagine the blessings in store when we focus on these five pearls of wisdom. Thanks for sharing such encouragement!
I know, right! I completely believe that God smiles on us when we put our husbands first and make them feel like the amazing men that they are. Now if I could just do that consistently, it’d be good. 🙂
Thank God for grace and for a very forgiving husband.
Thanks for stopping by, my sister!