In today’s world, raising girls is not a walk in the park. It seems everyone has something to sell and tell them. But sadly, not all of it is for their good.
Whether you’re a mom, auntie, or a role model, you can influence our girls for good. Here are 3 areas where we can shine, so that our girls will shine too.
I won’t promise you that these will be easy.
They require time and effort, and you will need to go against the grain. But I’m certain they’re worth it.
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How to Shine Bright So Your Girl Will Too
1. Make time for God
One of the best and most important ways to influence our girls is to focus on our personal relationship with God. This is the foundation on which all of our other relationships are built.
When we spend time with God, it transforms us and fills us up in such a way that spills over to others. We want our girls to benefit from this overflow from the Spirit and let them see what a difference it makes when we walk with Christ.
Allow your daughter to see you spending time with God so that she knows how important He is in your life. Let her see by your actions that He takes the number one spot.
Of course in order to show her God, I need to actually live as one following God. Our girls are smart and will see through us if we’re trying to fake it.
When we allow ourselves to be transformed by God we pass on the best legacy to our girls.
Spending time with God is a win-win for my girl and for me, which makes it worth it.
2. Make time for her
Our girls want to feel loved and appreciated. Taking the time to spend together is a great way to show love to our girls and remind them of how important they are.
Consider spending time together in two ways:
Make time to train her in the things of God
This is something we need to be intentional about. Don’t assume that because she sees you having your devotions that she’ll automatically do the same. We need to train them in the things of God (Proverbs 22:6). This takes time and energy. And it’s worth it!
Make time for just being with her
My girl loves nothing more than Mommy-Daughter time. It’s not usually fancy but any time the two of us get to spend without the boys is special.
We recently received copies of Shine Brightly and Sparkle magazines to review and I just absolutely loved them. One day we simply spent some time reading the magazine together then doing the activity, which happened to be a scavenger hunt. It was a simple and fun way to spend time together.
Check out Shine Brightly (for girls in Grade 4-8) and Sparkle magazine (for girls in Grade 1-3) here.
As your girl grows, find things she likes and do them together. Sure, this will mean learning a few new things and you might even have to step out of your comfort zone but guess what? It’s worth it!
3. Make time for you
Our society is good at teaching girls that they can do anything and be anything they like – they can have it all. Or maybe not. What we end up with is generations of women who are busy chasing dreams but not enjoying the journey. You can turn this around by your example.
Make rest a priority, schedule regular retreats, and make time for you.
This week I’m doing just that by attending the virtual Mom Conference. It’s perfect for me because it’s free (who doesn’t love free?), it’s online (I don’t have to rearrange my schedule to travel) and I get to spend time on my personal development – in the comfort of my home.
Showing my girl the importance of self-care is — you guessed it — so worth it.
Spending time with God, spending time with your girl and making time for you won’t happen automatically. These things require time and effort on your part.
No one ever said raising girls was easy. But you know what? Your girl is worth it!
What about you?
What tips do you have for raising girls? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.
Wishing you blessings,
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I raised a boy, so never had the joy of a little girl, but I love reading this and imaging all you lovely moms finding balance in your lives to offer your daughter the sense of self-care, Godliness, and love for her. What beautiful lessons here..I realize too, so much of this is true for moms with boys..my son learned much from me finding time for self-care and God, and of course time with him. The fruits show now that he is 18 and also finds balance in his life..and we take regular times together. Such encouragement today in your writing as always!
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, Kathy. I am always inspired by you!
And yes, I agree that with a boy the same principles apply. Although, with my boy, obviously the way we spend time will look very different. It’s really about finding the things they like, isn’t it?
I’m so glad to hear about the closeness you share with your son and I look forward to saying the same in about 7 years. 🙂
Such an awesome, inspiring post. As always! Thanks for sharing, sweet friend! This Mommy always appreciates some good advice! <3
You’re so welcome, Stefani! We are learning together, sweet friend. <3
I have all boys but I appreciate what you’re saying, I can see it from how my Mom raised me! Your girls are lucky to have such a loving Mama 🙂
That’s so sweet to say, Leah.
I have a son as well and I wondered if I were to rewrite this post for sons how much would I change. While the angle might be different, I think our boys also need to see these same key things: the way we love God, the way we love others (including them) and the way we love ourselves. Maybe I just might write that one too!
Thanks so much for stopping by today!
I love the post Marva! Although I am a mother of three adult sons, I have nieces, and I mentor several young women. Your words are so true — we need to model self-care. We rarely read this or hear this when addressing young women. I am a firm believer in Titus 2 mentoring. Your blog post speaks to my heart!
How very sweet, Robin. My hope when writing this was that it would speak to more than just moms of girls. I think it’s such an important message to send to girls that there are other women who are looking out for them and willing to share their lives by example. Titus 2 mentoring is such a blessing for so many and your nieces and the other women whom you mentor are blessed to have you.
Great tips, Marva! Each one. It’s important to cultivate our own relationship with God … and to make sure we get the rest and refreshment we need–otherwise, that time we spend with our girls? It’s full of stress … Love you, my friend!
Boy don’t I know about that stress, Dianne! And my girl can spot it too. Thankfully she’s so sweet and forgiving.
Love you, my friend!
These are such great reminders. Slowing down life to make time for what’s important – God, others, and ourselves – teaches more to our kids than we give it credit. Wonderful post!
Andrea, I love how you distilled that: God, others, ourselves! That’s really what it’s all about isn’t it but I hadn’t even caught on to that until now. Haha, I love when that happens.
Thanks for visiting and sharing your sparkle with us!
What an encouraging word, Marva! I love this post! Practical. Positive. Helpful. Sweet!
My favorite line, “My relationship with God is the best legacy to pass on to my daughter.”
One thing I would add that I wish I’d taught my daughter (better) is how to communicate truth without being catty, silly, or a drama-queen. Communication is such a big deal in our girl world!
(Maybe I’ll write a post on this topic one day!)
Love you and your ministry! Hope you have a wonderful day!
Oh please share that one with me when you write it, Melanie. I can tell already that I’ll need it! Lol 🙂
I’m so grateful for your consistent encouragement and support, my friend. You truly inspire me!
I’m so excited to be a mom someday! Raising strong girls who are ready to shine their light is one of the best things a person can ever do! Great post, Marva.
It really is a special honor, Lauren but I have to say that raising a boy is pretty cool too! Thanks for stopping by, my friend — I’ve been enjoying your new space over at laurengaskillinspires.com
I have raised 3 girls into amazing women. I don’t say this to toot my own horn because it’s all to God’s glory but I do believe the suggestions you have here are right on and true for me.
Each daughter is so different and I really love that. I did do the 3 things that you wrote about; sometimes I did them well and others I faltered.
Our relationships have not always been healthy or good. We’ve had our ups and downs over the years. But I do believe because I sought after God, made time with each girl and took time for myself, we have amazing relationships today. In addition, when we had hurtful words I tried to remember that keeping the lines of communication open despite the hurt or anger was best. If the door is open and the relationship is most important, much can be healed!
One thing that my husband and I did as a tradition with each of our girls, was to take them on a solo date when they got their period for the first time. Celebrating the beauty of physically becoming a woman and enjoying how special each girl is.
I know that traditions are important in our family and I would suggest finding a special and unique tradition to share with one another.
Thanks for the beautiful words of encouragement
Laura, I am moved by your very thoughtful comment and the way you shared your heart with me and my readers. I love being able to learn from those who’ve gone before me and you just shared some nuggets here today that I will treasure.
I’m especially grateful for your advice to keep the lines of communication open. I can tell with my little firecracker that I will have to practise this one early. 🙂
And as for traditions, I’m going to think about a special way to celebrate her and all her milestones.
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom!
Hugs and blessings!
I”m so glad you mentioned self-care. It is so important that we model this for our girls, they are watching our every move! Happy #dayofthegirl. Love your encouragement here.
The self care part is something that I’m working on, Sarah. For such a long time it was all about go, go, go! I’m glad that I get to show her that there’s more to life than trying to do it all.
Bless you and your two sweet girls! #dayofthegirl
This is post is so wonderful. As a mother of an 8-month old little girl I’m so thankful for wisdom like this. Everything you said is so right on, and it will be such a daily struggle to keep these reminders, and intentions, at the forefront in this busy society. Thank you for the wisdom and encouragement!
Oh, Taylor, I pray you enjoy this precious time with your little girl. Just this morning I kissed my little girl’s forehead and it brought back memories of when she was a baby — nine years ago! How I hope sometimes that time would stand still.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing those kind and uplifting words.